Sometimes, you just need to make your own fairytale

I will admit, as I sit amongst my laundry piles, I just watched the highlight reel of the Royal Wedding. Ok, I'll also admit that I watched it twice. And while we are admitting things, I have to say that I am a wee bit jealous.

Of course, we cannot compare lives in any shape or form, but I don't know a woman alive who doesn't want to be a Princess for a day. I know I do. My wedding dress has long since been packed away in a rubbermade container, only to be unearthed someday when my daughter wants to play with it or try it on and discard it for a $5000 version of the same dress. And that's OK. I've had my time, and she'll have hers. But I'm still jealous.

Which brings me to the thought that sometimes, you just have to make your own fairytale. Or, if you can't have the fairytale, settle for doing something nice for yourself whenever possible. I'm not sure what constitutes a happy place for you, but for me it could be one of many scenarios of both small and large proportions:

Have a massive, blow out vow renewal
If you like your husband enough to remarry him, what are you waiting for? Life is short. Plan a party. Whether you want it to be in your backyard or at Disneyland (which is, of course, where I would go), get yourself a pretty dress, a tiara, and a bunch of friends. You'll feel like a Princess, even for the day.

Take a nice vacation to a place where magic happens
Once again, I'd go to Disneyland. I'd slap on my Mouseears, eat in their themed restaurants, and run wild for the day. I may even be persuaded to go to the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique and get my hair done with my daughter, although I don't know if I can pull off the Cinderella look. You might want to go to a beach somewhere, put on a sarong, and drink MaiTai's while you watch the world go by.

You could do the same thing right in your hometown by renting a limo, going to a nice place, and even wearing high heels. Sometimes, you just have to let loose and get to the heart of your happiness.

Do something nice for yourself
What makes you feel good about yourself? Is it having a bath, uninterrupted by small children who are trying to hop in and share with you? Is it reading a book or going out for a coffee that doesn't taste watered down? For me, if I have to stick close to home, I like walking through book stores. I love walking aisle after aisle of books, and just getting lost in them. It doesn't necessarily make me feel like a Princess, but I feel....content. Do something that makes you feel content.

Yes, it is much easier to give such advice than take it. Even now, as I write this, having a day that would even be 1/1000 as magical as the Royal Wedding seems highly unlikely. But I'll keep dreaming, as I always do, and I hope you will as well.

And in the mean time, I'll watch that highlight reel one more time before I succumb to one more episode of Handy Manny. (Actually, Handy Manny has some serious adult themes. The sexual tension between Manny and Kelly is palpable.)

Vancouver's Disney Store is now open

Just a quick post to broadcast the news of Vancouver's new Disney Store at Metrotown.

Located on the lower level by the Bay, the store is one of the new concept stores. They have the Princess section with Magic Mirrors, a Cars section with build it yourself remote control cars, and the required pile of Disney plush. The cars section is very similar to RideMakerz in downtown Disneyland, and if you have a RideMakerz car (our boys have one each), you can switch out the shells and convert them to Lightening McQueen or Mater.

My favorite part of the new store is that they sell Vinyls! I've been collecting them slowly off of the Disney Store website, but to have full access to Toy Story, Villians, and the Park series of vinyls? Its almost too much excitement for someone who barely ever gets out of the house. 

The mural on the wall outside of the Vancouver Disney store

As you can see in the picture, there are trees in the store, but these aren't just any ordinary tree. They light up with movies and fireworks at random times throughout the day.

The cast members at the store really try hard to recreate Disney magic. One CM called my daughter "Princess' the entire time she was in the Rapunzel section, and they singled out a small visitor for a special honor complete with fireworks. I do believe that they also have the magical opening in the morning, where the first visitor gets to turn the key in the lock and keep a replica (I haven't seen it for myself, but I know other stores do this).



The Grand Opening is on April 16th at 10 am. Mickey and Minnie will be there in the central court as a meet and greet.  This is one store that you will want to spend an hour in, especially on a rainy day in Vancouver.

I'm a Disney fantatic. For other Disney related articles that I've written, visit Mousewait. Mousewait is the #1 Disney social app that provides you with accurate wait times while visiting the resort.

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master

I love poetry. I don't write it very well, but I have memories of creating silly little poems from the time I was five or six. This is before my phase where I was going to be a fashion designer (that one stuck until I was about 19 and realized I couldn't draw or sew).  I never even realized how much I wrote until I found a box of old paper work in some kids things my mom sent out to me. It was a Nike shoe box, and there was horrendous poem after poem in there about heartbreak (my own), boys I liked (I had totally forgotten who they were until I read them, and then I laughed), and even about my cat. 

The best part of that box was that it showed I was always writing. Somehow or another, writing something, anything, has kept me together all of these years. Even if I don't remember writing it. 

Now my kids are into poetry in a small way. Although they were somewhat forced by having to perform a poem they picked for an oratory contest in school, they both really got into it. My son memorized his poem, "Steve the Super Hero" by Ken Nesbitt and did hand actions with it as well. My daughter and I picked this poem by Rudyard Kipling. You may know him for writing The Jungle Book which was the basis for the subsequent Disney movie, but he was also an amazing poet. When she recites this (from memory, I'm so proud), I get teary. Its beautiful. 

Happy rainy Wednesday

If by Rudyard Kipling

If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Kick depression's butt with Couch to 5K By Felt Tip Inc.

I have never thought of myself as a runner. Or someone who was into exercise for that matter. Sure, I like to ride my road bike around Langley in the Spring, Summer, and Fall, but given the duration (at least an hour) and the difficulty in getting out the door (impossible), I have never ridden as much as I'd like. I always thought that getting fit would happen at some point in my life, but I never knew when nor did I have the motivation to make it happen.

As one gets older, one takes a critical look in the mirror and thinks, "Wow." One then walks away from the mirror feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and in search of the whoopie pies that your daughter was making the other day. It seems easier to stuff our faces for comfort than actually figure a way out of your rut. Well, this winter, I had enough of the rut.

Anyone who lives in Vancouver knows that the rain can be constant. If it isn't raining, its gloomy or about to rain. Sometimes it rains sideways, other times it can be so loud that it sounds as though your roof will come crashing in. Unless you have a gym pass, you don't get out much. This winter, the rain threatened to eat me alive. I was getting so down in the dumps that I knew I either had to see a doctor about depression or get out of the house. I choose to get out of the house.

I downloaded Couch to 5K 8 weeks ago. This is an app for my iPhone that helps you get your fat butt off the couch and begin a running program. I began this program as a way to fill my day, get some exercise, and alleviate the feelings of gloom. I've began running before, only to stop as soon as the shin splints would kick in or my built in lazy gene took over. This time, for whatever reason and most likely due to the app, I managed to keep going.

Couch to 5K takes you through a cycle that breaks you in slowly. You run for 30 seconds, walk for a minute, and so on. Each week you go further and run more. The app mixes up your runs, so that you don't feel bored or expect the same thing day in and day out. With ear phones plugged in, it tells you when to start and stop, and even gives you the option of tweeting your results (I choose not to tweet).

Perhaps it was the challenge. It becomes almost like a game. As each day ticked by and I completed the run, I became really interested in going again. Given the break in pace, I never had shin splints. I can also credit the shoes that I purchased from my husband. Zoot makes a great pair of running shoes. I've never had a pair that comfortable and more suited for my big, flat feet.

I'm on the end of week 7 of the 9 week program, and I can say that I am now well and truly addicted to running. This app makes it so easy to get out there, that even people with fat butts and a plethora of children in tow can do it. I have my three older kids ride their bikes, and I run with my toddler in a Mountain Equipment Coop jogging stroller. I was so determined to get out there and run though, that I was hitting the track with a double stroller and a pissed off baby.

In short, Couch to 5K does exactly what it says it will. It gets you off the couch and turns you into a runner. 8 weeks ago I never thought I would run for 25 minutes without falling over. Now I can do it and still walk after.

Exercising every day has saved my sanity this year. What they say about releasing endorphins is true. If you need a pick me up, get off the couch and go for a run. You won't feel better overnight, but you definitely will feel as though you joined the human race again.

Embace your messy self housewives: What you must and must not clean

I am a clean person stuck in a house full of extremely messy people. This is a major source of angst for me.  Why you may ask? Well, for starters, whenever I sit down to work I am surrounded by paper products. Cut out images of Ben 10, pieces of scotch tape stuck to the hardwood, and just today, a piece of gum wedged in the crack of the floor.

And the toys! There are toys EVERYWHERE. Handy Manny's head is somewhere in the corner (I swear I haven't tried to analyze my child for ripping his head off and casually tossing it) , Buzz Lightyear lies face down on his buttons on the couch, causing him to talk and move his head so that it looks like evil is sprouting from the throw pillows. Even the fish tank is not exempt from mess. I fished three toy cars out of it yesterday, although I'm sure the fish were delighted in suddenly acquiring a Hummer.

Amidst such a mess all the time, I can do one of two things.

A.) I can clean all day every day. Pro: My house would be clean. Con: I would spend all day cleaning, and I think cleaning is one of the most soul sucking actions you can perform on a daily basis. Its right up there with constant rain and shopping in Costco on a Saturday. It drains your spirit.

B.) I can clean selectively. Pro: Parts of my house would be clean. Con: I would need to turn a blind eye to the other parts. This requires me to wear ski googles as I walk throughout the house each day. Lucky for me, ski goggles are plentiful in my garage, but they scare the baby who has no idea who I am and frankly, they are itchy.

This leaves me with a conundrum. Obviously I am going to choose Plan B, because I'd rather have a half messy house than have my soul and my passion emptied down the sink along with the drain-o that may or may not dissolve the action figure that my son put down there. But in choosing Plan B, I have to decide what NOT to clean.This list could go on all day, and who has time for such things. Rather than focus on the NOT-cleanables, I will state what you absolutely must clean:

1. Pets - Creatures that are alive and living in your home must be cleaned. If they need bathing, bathe them. If their litter box stinks to high heaven, clean it out. I never scoop the poop because I always leave it too long. Rather, I take everything in a plastic bag and I dump that crap straight into the garbage can. I also have fish, which I manage to neglect for at least a week longer than I should. Our poor Betta 'Ben 10' looks at me forlornly each morning as he dances for food, so he isn't as easy to ignore as the 40 gallon aquarium. When it gets stanky, I clean it.
2. Your fridge - It is simple to ignore the fridge. After all, we stuff it with food that will cover up the shelves so we can't see how messy it is. Unfortunately, if you ignore your fridge for too long, the leftovers that you have shoved to the back will start to take on life. And as we've said here today, if it lives you must clean it. Imagine how disgusting it is to find that your toddler cracked an egg that somehow managed to get itself under the fruit crisper. You wrongly blamed the apples, until you discover that you had a colony of something living under the bin. It was a sad day in bacteria history when I wiped that one out.
3. Your floor - I used to have carpet. When we first moved into the house and everything was brand spanking new, I would vacuum pretty lines into the rug every single day. The vacuum would be plugged up with new carpet fiber, which just made me more determined to keep it sparkling. Flash forward 5 years later, and after potty training two boys who decided that the rug was certainly safer than the actual potty, my carpet was toast. Out it came, to be replaced with pretty hardwood. And now I can't ignore the floor. I invested in a steam mop to make it easier, and I can say that this is the only part of cleaning that I enjoy. That steam mop just makes stains disappear. Its bliss, despite the fact that you can sometime see the tracks of mop around the toys that I leave on the floor.

The key to staying sane when you are a clean person living amongst the mess? Embrace it! Embrace your messy self! Don't beat yourself up (or the others around you) for their inability to keep your house as clean as you'd like it.You can use my mantra if you like:

Do what you can.

And I have a set of ski googles somewhere around here if you want to borrow them.

How to Trademark: 5 minutes to deciding whether Trademarking is for you

My pretty trademark that most likely cost me $2000

If you are a mom (or a dad, parent, what have you) that owns your own business, the thought of trademarking your name will have crossed your mind. You might have seen another competing business using a name similar to yours. Or, you have direct competition that you feel you can dust if only you own the name of your company. Whether your motivation be suing the pants off of a rival that is irritating you or protecting a business name you have rightfully grown, you want a Trademark and you want one now.  Yet I continue to be amazed at the lack of knowledge out there for Trademarking. Judging by the types of questions I am asked, it is clear that many people don't know the differences between a Trademark, Copyright, and Patents.

A trade-mark is a word (or words), a design, or a combination of these, used to identify the goods or services of one person or organization.

I'd call this tutorial "Trademarking for Dummies," but the words "For Dummies" is trademarked and I don't want to be sued. (Also see my future article "How to survive being counter-sued", because that happened to me too)

Trademarking is one of the single most misunderstood parts of owning a business. I will never forget receiving an email from a friend who said:

"Hey, can you trademark my name, thanks".
Um, ok. I'm going to need some clarification here.  I emailed back, asking exactly what she meant.

She replied, "You know, copyright it. Let me know when its done. Ok, thanks."

Now for someone who has no idea what obtaining a trademark entails, this may seem like a fairly simple exchange.  But I've been through the ringer of trademarking so to speak, and there are three things you should know right off the bat.

Its expensive: The application to trademark you business name or logo will cost you a minimum of $250 if you submit online. If you submit through another way, such a trademark lawyer or one of the online services, you are looking at anywhere from $300 to $1500 to apply. Once you have been approved, it will cost you another $250 minimum to register it formally. If it does not become approved for whatever reason (someone opposes it, it is too close in name to another registered trademark), you are out your original $250. There is no refund window at the Trademark office.

Its time consuming - Just filling out the application is time consuming. Once you fill out the application, you can expect to wait up to a year for the trademark to be published in the Trademark Journal. If no one opposes your use of the trademark after it is advertised, you will be asked to submit the final registration form. For me, it took three years from start to finish. Some businesses don't even operate for three years, so you should be sure of what your future plans are before filing.

You need to be on the ball to cover everything - You have to be sure you cover all of the contingencies. For example, are you going to be using the name for just your business or a possible line of products? You better have all of the clothes, soaps, baby things, to which you plan on using it covered, or you could be in trouble down the road. For an idea as to what I put on my application, look at the pretty and ultra expensive registered trademark I own: Kidswap

Just like George Costanza, you will succeed if you do the opposite of what I did: Trademark law firms are plentiful online and off. After some research you may feel tempted to just hand over the reins of your application to a firm. I would advise against this, unless you have a lot of money to burn and/or you have a really complicated application. I was royally taken by a Trademark firm which shall remain nameless. This was way back in the day when I didn't realize that every single time a lawyer picks up the phone, it costs you a lot of money. I had called a trademark lawyer for advice at one point. They helped me with my application, and that was all I required. One of the lawyers from the firm took it upon themselves to call me three months later to 'check in'. I thought it was a just a nice chat, until I received a bill in the mail for $800. Avoid trademark firms and save yourself a lot of cash by researching it yourself. 

If you are in the market for a Trademark, I recommend doing some research on Google. You will find many links to companies that will process your trademark for $399, (you know now that the do-it-yourself fee is $250) but you still do all of the work on the application. Steer clear and keep your money in the bank.

If you have more questions, I'm happy to help.

How to Change a Diaper

If you like funny, check out a new website by some guys at Funny or Die. Its called The Content Farm, and for people who focus on quality writing, its hilarious. It made me laugh even harder, because I recently signed up for Demand Studios. And in the same day, I removed myself from the site. As a freelancer, I keep my options open, so I thought I'd apply and try it out. I also thought it might be fun to write for LiveStrong, because I am an avid road biking enthusiast. Apparently, when writing for demand studios, you need to prove yourself first.  A plethora of subjects for eHow were my only choice, including how to fix a fly wheel on a tractor. Now I am well known for my ability to research, but that one was a bit out of my level of comprehension. Also, I don't want to spend over 4 hours researching something to only make $15.
And so, in honor of The Content Farm and content mills everywhere, here is my take on:

How to Change a Diaper

You don't need a license to have a baby, which is really too bad in many respects. You've weighed the pros and cons of which baby necessities to buy and discovered that the one thing you can't really do without is diapers. Unfortunately for you, you have no idea how to change a diaper. This is how you change a diaper:
Steps:

1. Get a hold of a baby: This could be your baby or a borrowed baby. Avoid borrowing babies from people who don't know you are borrowing them. You will end up in jail. Please see my How To article on "How to protect yourself when jailed for kidnapping".
2. Determine that the current diaper needs changing: A strong indicator of a diaper in need of changing is a:) When it is hanging down in a soggy fashion between the child's legs, or b:) a strong, ripe odor is emitting from said child's current diaper. You may also see a trail of color seeping out of the diaper if you've waited too long or the eruption was particularly volcanic.
3. Place the child on his or her back: Laying the child down, remove the old diaper and wrap it up with the tabs. You may wish to use a ventilation mask for this step, as the fumes can be strong and overwhelming.
4. Wipe away the remaining mess: Don't be cheap. Huggies and Pampers sell baby wipes for a reason. Toilet paper will only leave you sticky fingered and dry dabbing. Consider that you will spend much more in antibacterial hand wash if you opt out of baby wipes.
5. Place the new diaper underneath the child's bottom: At this point, be sure that the tabs are underneath the child's backside and that the diaper is placed the right way. Diaper manufacturers have added colorful characters and artful cartoon displays to the front side of the diaper. They say this is to make the diaper more appealing to children, but let's face it, the kid doesn't care as long as he or she doesn't have poop running down their legs. No, this is sort of a feature for parents, a "Put it on the right way for dummies." Look for the Elmo, he won't steer you wrong.
6. Secure the tabs: Open one tab and place it over Elmo. Open the other tab and do the same. See, this diaper changing thing is easy.
7. Sit back and bask in your accomplishment: You will have between 5 minutes to 2 hours before you need to change another diaper. You will begin to feel more confident in your assessment and changing skills as time goes on.

Tips:

• Resist the urge to place your face near the child's bottom. You may see others doing this 'sniff test' in order to guage whether or not the child has voided, but it can backfire. See my How To article on how to cleanse fecal matter from your glasses.
• Always keep a diaper on a newborn baby boy. Their internal sprinkler system is set to high.
• Be aware of volcanic eruptions that can occur when the child is having their diaper changed. In much the same way that a shift can occur in the earth's tectonic plates, so can a powerful push occur when changing a diaper.