What are you going to tell your kids about the Vancouver Riot 2011

Like many in Vancouver, I was glued to my television last night. Not only because of the hockey game, which put a wrench in my heart for the Canucks. No, I was glued to the aftermath. The moment that first car flipped I had a feeling this could get bad, but I had no idea that the stupidity would be so truly out of control.

If I had to have a favorite part, and I use that term loosely, I would say that it was when the TV cameras captured a bunch of idiots in The Bay. One guy in particular had a hammer in his hand and he was talking away on his cell phone. These are people who had no clue they were being taped, but at the same time, did they not care that the public was standing there watching them? Did they feel entitled to those Coach purses, just because the Canucks lost?

News flash people: The Canucks are ashamed of you. Instead of being proud they got this far, you brought shame down upon them. Good job! I'm sure when you woke up this morning with a hangover and puffy eyes from tear gas, you probably thought to yourself, "What the hell was I thinking?"

But its too late for that now.

For some helpful suggestions on how to discuss the Vancouver Riot 2011 with your kids, visit Survive Parenthood

Vancouver's Disney Store is now open

Just a quick post to broadcast the news of Vancouver's new Disney Store at Metrotown.

Located on the lower level by the Bay, the store is one of the new concept stores. They have the Princess section with Magic Mirrors, a Cars section with build it yourself remote control cars, and the required pile of Disney plush. The cars section is very similar to RideMakerz in downtown Disneyland, and if you have a RideMakerz car (our boys have one each), you can switch out the shells and convert them to Lightening McQueen or Mater.

My favorite part of the new store is that they sell Vinyls! I've been collecting them slowly off of the Disney Store website, but to have full access to Toy Story, Villians, and the Park series of vinyls? Its almost too much excitement for someone who barely ever gets out of the house. 

The mural on the wall outside of the Vancouver Disney store

As you can see in the picture, there are trees in the store, but these aren't just any ordinary tree. They light up with movies and fireworks at random times throughout the day.

The cast members at the store really try hard to recreate Disney magic. One CM called my daughter "Princess' the entire time she was in the Rapunzel section, and they singled out a small visitor for a special honor complete with fireworks. I do believe that they also have the magical opening in the morning, where the first visitor gets to turn the key in the lock and keep a replica (I haven't seen it for myself, but I know other stores do this).



The Grand Opening is on April 16th at 10 am. Mickey and Minnie will be there in the central court as a meet and greet.  This is one store that you will want to spend an hour in, especially on a rainy day in Vancouver.

I'm a Disney fantatic. For other Disney related articles that I've written, visit Mousewait. Mousewait is the #1 Disney social app that provides you with accurate wait times while visiting the resort.

Life is like a....ladder

I was painting the trim of the house the other day, and I was in a bad mood. I've been feeling a lot of guilt for things lately, and if there is one thing that will lock me in a corner and make me feel claustrophobic, it's guilt.

I won't go into details about why I feel guilty. It's mostly family obligations, etc., but it did make me think that I'd like to please be able to go about my life without feeling this crappy all the time.

'Letting it go' only works until those who make you feel bad get up in your face and make you feel guilty again. It's frustrating really, and it always seems to lead me to the question, "Is this all there is?" Translation: What is life about anyway?

Because I was standing on a ladder at the time, I decided that life must be just like a ladder. Once I started to think about it, it all made sense.

Good things happen, and you go up a few rungs. Good things like marriage, babies, accomplishments. Exciting things happen, like moving or new jobs. You go up a few rungs again. You feel as though you are on top of the ladder. Unfortunately, as with ladders and life in general, you can either stay at the top or you can move back down a few rungs. I have no problem with the up and down, but what if you were solidly stuck in the middle of that damn ladder? You never really went up, you try to never go down. It's debilitating. Although I believe that personal life circumstances can restrict you somewhat from forging ahead, it shouldn't stop your progress completely if you really want to climb a rung.

You could also see your daily life as a ladder. For example, if you are having a very stressful day and you wake up to rain, gloom, and laundry, the thought of something exciting or adventurous right around the corner is enough to get you through a very long day.  I like to travel, so sometimes I feel as though I have to look forward to something like that, no matter how far away it is. It's ok to take four kids on a trip in my head, not so much when I actually have to pack a bag.

My point? Life is pretty boring when you are solidly in the middle of a ladder, when every single day you can expect the same. Also, how do you teach your children to keep trying to get up there if you aren't a good example yourself? I think the biggest difference between the me I was when I was in my 20's and the me I am now? I think I'm too tired or too scared to climb!

But I admire and am happy for everyone who does. Happy rainy Monday Vancouver.

My house is a very, very, very fine house

And I'm feeling nosy today. What does your house look like?

I'm one of those people that, when in the passenger seat, strain out my window to look into other people's windows as we're driving by. I'm no peeping tom, I'm mostly looking for walls, furnishings, etc. I just like to see how other people live. I've yet to see a naked person (thankfully!) and I've picked up a design tip or two for the home decor advice column I write for a client in Australia (seriously, I do write one).

Here is my house:

Isn't it pretty? My mom drew my attention to the fact that it looks great in pictures. I have to agree, it does look like a nice house. From the outside, you can't tell that the layout is a bit on the unbalanced side.

Perceptions are wonderful things. My mom informing me of what a nice house I had actually made me remember what it was like to appreciate it. Way back before I had four kids and three bedrooms upstairs, I loved my house. I'd walk up the driveway when it was night, listening to the frogs croaking in the creek up the street and I would just be blissed out. Before I was worried that my baby would fall down the back stairs (and before he did fall down the front stairs), I enjoyed the green grass in my yard.

I'm lucky, because I have a house to love/hate. I feel fortunate for that all the time. Do I wish I had a bedroom for each kid? You bet. Do I wish even more that I could knock a hole in the floor of my kitchen and create a staircase to the lower level? Oh yeah. That would be amazing. *Hides my jackhammer from husband*

Oh well, we can't have everything!

Conflict Resolution - Mom style!

As I drove my kids home from school the other day, I listened with half an ear as my six year old recounted his experience with show and tell that day. He had struggled that morning with what to bring, and came to the door armed with two teddy bears that he’s loved since he was a baby. Thinking more along the lines of him not having room in his bag and not what bringing bears to school could do to a boy in Grade One, I steered him in the direction of a family photo recently taken in front of the Mickey Pumpkin during our last trip to Disney. Of course I am distracted as we get his bag into the car, and it wasn’t until after school that I realized he did sneak his coveted ‘Buzz Bear’ to school that day. Showing the bear off to his friends, he was quite surprised to see his friend ‘Joe’ cover his mouth with his hands and laugh. I looked in the review mirror as he showed me what the kid did to mock him, and was instantly irate.

“Joe is a tool”, said I, before thinking it through and realizing what came out of my mouth.

“He’s a WHAT??” asked my son. Helpfully, my 8-year-old daughter explained, “Mom thinks he’s an idiot.”

Oh my. This is when it hit me. I have not done a very good job hiding myself from my kids.

I understand that, in the grand scheme of things, my children live with me in my house and are therefore going to be exposed to the unavoidable verbal onslaught that often comes with my day-to-day life. I have four children, life is stressful, and I don’t generally hide that.

It made me start wondering how much of our real personality we hide from our children, and which is better? Full disclosure with slight modifications, which is generally the way I go or the attitude that we can protect our kids from the world just by the way we react. Never is this more important than when dealing with life’s little issues, which have the effect of a massive roof caving in snowball when left unattended.

Let’s take an example. You are fighting with your husband and it’s about money. Things start to get very heated. Do you take it behind closed doors, knowing that your older children are probably eaves dropping and leaving them out there to fend for themselves or do you argue in front of them, committing yourself not to raise your voice but clearly expressing your anger? 1950’s style Mom would not say a word, continue to clean up from dinner, and if needed, would discuss the matter after the children are in bed. From experience, I don’t know many women who would be willing to wait to have that discussion, especially as everything in our lives is currently so busy and urgent that if you wait, your little chat may never happen.

Should children see us arguing or dealing with conflict? I say yes, but I temper that with moderation.

If you shield them from these types of situations, they will grow up and be shocked as they see other people outside of your home deal with conflict. You will then have missed your opportunity to teach them the correct way of solving a problem. Not only that, I really believe that because it would be so overwhelming to be suddenly thrown into dealing with big issues, they will avoid conflict like the plague. I call this the “head in sand” approach to conflict, and I’ve seen it in my husband and other family members. I don’t like it, and I don’t want my kids to grow up like that.

When they see us dealing with problems, they will soon realize that there is almost always a solution. You can have an argument in front of your kids, deal with it by talking it out in a heated manner, then show them that the problem is solved and move on.

The key here? The problem was solved.

Life is full of problems both big and small, you can’t keep them in a bubble. Children, from a very early age, need to know how to deal with that.

I tend to say what I think in front of my children. If a teacher sends home a rude note about not practicing sight cards enough, I have a hard time biting my tongue and not discussing this with my husband immediately upon reading it. Being the happy little eavesdroppers that they are, they listen in and then ask me questions as to why I am unhappy about the note. What do you say to that? Should I lie? As I have a very strict ‘No Lie Policy”, it’s not something that I would consider. I simply explain that not everyone does nice things, that my opinion is clearly different from the teachers, and that I am going to deal with the situation. What do they learn from this? Once again, Mom has a problem but she’s taking are of it.

I am the way I am as a parent because I’ve been exposed to the extreme opposite of conflict resolution. I grew up in a family where an argument would last for hours and occasionally punches would be exchanged between family members. Yes, that was scary for a little kid growing up. I had real worries as a five year old, including if that argument between dad and my uncle never stopped, someone was going to get a black eye. Yelling was second nature to me; it was how people expressed themselves. What I never, ever saw was a solution to a problem. I grew up thinking that maybe it wasn’t possible to deal with stuff, that huge black clouds hung over our heads for years and years, never to let up.

In contrast, my husband’s family does not fight and argue. They may have had heated arguments or disagreements, but once they did the blinders would go on and everyone would pretend it never happened. For me, it’s like being stuck in a vortex. Not keeping talking about it? Not acceptable! We have to beat this issue to death.

For my children, I have taken what I experienced and armed with my Psychology degree, have come to a middle ground. I will not shield them, but I will not pretend it never happened either. If they are occasionally exposed to my true beliefs about their friends, teachers, or what have you, I will temper that by sitting them down and explaining why I feel that way and that my feelings do not represent everyone. I encourage my kids to talk about what they are feeling, and if they think that their friend Joe is a tool, I let them say that as well. Just as long as they don’t say that in class!

I know there are a lot of moms out there like me, who need to find the middle ground between how they were raised and what they know is right. As far as I am concerned, it starts with how you express yourself to your children. I don’t hide myself or my feelings from my kids. When trying to figure out a problem, I ask myself what I would be teaching them by avoiding the problem altogether.

Nothing.

Then I ask myself what I would teach them by screaming about it for hours and hours.

Once again, nothing.

Remember: Sand is for building sandcastles, not for hiding from the world. Keep your eye on the prize and find the happy middle ground that is your children’s future.